I guess the reason I love music so much, is because it moves people. Well, most people. There are plenty of people that just listen to music passively, though I really can't fathom how.
One of my favorite feelings I experience when listening to music is nostalgia. There is always that one song or album that just tugs on your heartstrings and takes you back. I never get this feeling so strongly as when I listen to The Smashing Pumpkins.
I know, I know, If you knew me in high school I was "the crazy Pumpkin Head girl". Though my obsession has subsided a bit, they are still my
ultimate favorite band. And no i don't know how anyone could rate Billy Corgan in the top worst singers category. Assholes.
My favorite Pumpkins' album is one that I guess many think of as "the beginning of the end" In
Adore It seemed the band had washed away their grunge and were moving forward, and what critic likes that!? I guess most had their finger on the disappointment button well before the album was released do to the huge success of
Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. Lighting isn't allowed to strike twice in a row in the music world.
In 8th grade I was pulled out of my teeny bopper Hanson poster lined world by cute dark haired boy that sat next to me on the bus. I think he was sent to convert me, and though very hesitant at first, I gave into those bass lines and guitar riffs. I was a little late to Alternative rock, as it was in its decline by 1998, but I had this new world to explore and so many options. I could of gone the way of praising the all mighty Cobain, but he was (lets really admit it) not that good of a writer. And Alice in Chains was a little to rough for my taste. I needed something that was able to express my anger, but also bring a little tear to my eye. Something I could sing to my sweetie, and then put on my mix tape when we broke up. With the Pumpkins, no song sounded the same, and they had a song for every feeling my little teenage heart could express. And when you're a teenager, you have more feelings (and hormones) running through you than at any other time in your life it seems.
However,
Adore was the album that stole my heart. Probably because I picked it up after that cute little dark haired boy on the bus broke it for the first time. At the sound of Billy Corgan's weeping piano, I was gone. I first got it on cassette (yea it was also around the time they were getting rid of those) because I had been grounded for God knows what, and my Cd player had been taken away. But the parents forgot I had a Walkman. So I would lay awake at night that summer with my headphones on and listen. There is something about listening to music at night with headphones that makes you hear it in a different way. It makes it sink in deeper. I guess as you get older and start to share your bed you can't really have that experience anymore. The only time I listen to music with headphones now is when I'm at the gym, and then Im worried about getting a good workout in before I have to get to the office or start working on another project.
Now when I listen to
Adore I think of that little dark haired boy, my first broken heart, my last "childhood" summer with my two best friends, planning our great escapes from our parents, dreaming of our perfect guys, romping around the woods, riding bikes, sleepovers, starting first bands, and impatiently waiting and dreading for my first year of high school.
Its so hard to believe it was almost 10 years ago.
